PLEASE TAKE NOTICE of the Short-Subway-Sandwich Settlement
It’s a settlement all right.
Civil
Lawsuit Blames Negligent Six-Year-Old
“A judge will now have to decide whether the six-year-old can be held legally responsible for her actions,” says the Telegraph about a case pending in Austria. According to the report, the accident she’s accused of causing “took place on…
"Home of Throwed Rolls" Sued for Throwin’ Rolls
Really for hittin' a gal in her cornea and whatnot after them rolls was throwed. But there's lawyerin' afoot now, that's definite. Lambert's Cafe was founded in Sikeston, Missouri (in the "bootheel") in 1942, and now has three locations due…
If New Horizons Hit My Car, Could the Insurance Company Raise My Rates?
Probably.
Jury Clears Mascot in Hot-Dog-Flinging Case
ALERT: a second jury has found the Kansas City Royals and their mascot Sluggerrr not liable for Sluggerrr hitting a fan in the eye with a hot dog. As you may recall (and if not, by all means see below),…
Things Not to Say to Employees #1-5
There are so many, but here are five.
God’s Class Action Dismissed
Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered. Luke 11:52 (KJV) Well, the Lord’s lawsuit against all similarly situated homosexuals lasted just…
God Files Class Action Against Gay People
I know exactly what you’re thinking—one god isn’t enough gods for a class action. That makes no sense at all! And even if there were more than one, how likely is it that they would be similarly situated so that one…
NoYouCantWriteABriefLikeThisToGetAroundTheWordLimit
Appalling.
Judge Criticizes “Behemoth Pleadings”
Here are some words & phrases that you really don't want a judge to apply to anything you file: sprawling behemoth surplusage larded with brims with masquerading as voluminous breathtaking madness chokes the docket intended to overwhelm labyrinthian prolixity of…