Prosecutor Declines to Prosecute Himself
He exercised his discretion not to self-prosecute.
Crime and Punishment
Sufficiently Notorious Convicted Felon Identified?
Nope, it wasn’t Patty Hearst. Decent guess, though.
Texas Bill Would Make It Illegal for You to Film a Cop Beating You
So that you will not interfere with said cop while he is beating you.
The Most Interesting Carpool-Lane Ruse in the World
Interesting, but not successful: In this case the "extra passenger" is—in the unlikely event you don't recognize him—a cardboard cutout of The Most Interesting Man in the World, the spokesman for Dos Equis Beer. The driver was busted in the…
FBI Investigating Ridiculous Soon-to-Be-Former Congressman
According to reports today, 33-year-old Rep. Aaron Schock's sudden decision to resign will not end federal investigations into his alleged misuse of campaign funds. Schock, seen above either speaking to young supporters or appearing in an episode of How I Met…
Judge Caught Driving Defendant’s Car Says He Was “Just Looking After It”
Things haven't gone too well for Eike Batista over the past few years. Once the richest man in Brazil and among the top ten in the world (he supposedly made it to eighth place), with a net worth of about…
Accused Fraudster Strapped His Ankle Bracelet to a Robot
The government is using the word "contraption," and that is probably more accurate but "robot" made the headline funnier. I don't know why. That's just how this works sometimes. As I mentioned the other day, Paul Ceglia, who previously demanded…
Feds Say They Have Accused Fraudster’s Ankle Bracelet in Custody
Unfortunately, he's not in it at the moment. Paul Ceglia, who once sued Mark Zuckerberg claiming half of Facebook, and who last appeared here back in Assorted Stupidity #39 after his ninth set of lawyers withdrew from that case, has…
Two More Drunk-Driving Excuses to Cross Off the List [Updated]
Actually, you really shouldn't have a list like this in the first place, but if you do, these should not be on it. The first one comes to us from New Jersey (thanks, Grant & Gerald), where two guys tried…
Heiress Sentenced to One Year on Nut-Rage Charges
Nutrageous! Justice was swift for Cho Hyun-ah, the now-former VP of Korean Air Lines who went first-class crazy after being offered macadamia nuts in a bag instead of on a dish, a service faux pas in clear violation of the airline's…