Buddhist Monks Fined After All-Out Monk Brawl
What would Buddha do?
2005
That’s One Small Snip for a Barber, One Giant Check for Barberkind
Neil Armstrong, who some of you may remember was the first human being to walk on the Moon, has threatened to sue a barbershop owner in Lebanon, Ohio, for collecting Armstrong’s hair clippings and selling the hair to a collector. The…
British Medical Experts Say Knives Too Pointy, Call For Ban
Citing a wave of stabbings in early 2005, a group of British medical experts have called for laws requiring knives to be blunt. Not all knives, of course—that would be stupid—but at least the kind of long, pointy knives often…
“Revenge of the Sith” Causes Stupid Sith to Happen
I was happy to see that the new Star Wars movie, “Revenge of the Sith,” has caused stupidity to break out all over. Citing British media, E! Online reports that two British fans sustained severe burns on May 22 during a fight…
Note to Self: Cancel Credit Cards So Ex Cannot Use Them to Hire Hit Man
Keith Costello and Terra Endres of Oswego, New York, were divorced in 2002, and Costello got custody of the children. Apparently still very angry about the whole thing, Endres allegedly hired an Australian hit man to come to the US…
Chinese Couple Sues After Man Breaks Arm During Newlywed Games
Yu Haitao and his bride Fang Shuling have sued their honeymoon hotel in Shanghai, China, after Yu broke his arm during what Reuters News described as “bedroom fun and games.” Maybe literally, since state-run media said the two were taking…
Governor Blames Grand-Jury Investigation on Testicular Virility
Facing a grand-jury investigation of his fund-raising practices, Governor Rod Blagojevich of Illinois claimed that he had become a target only because of his “testicular virility” in standing up to a Chicago alderman he had accused of wrongdoing. Blagojevich, whose…
Politician Confused Into Dousing Homeless Man With Champagne
Peter Gloystein, a German senator and deputy leader of the state of Bremen, resigned this week after dumping a magnum of champagne over the head of a homeless man at a televised ceremony marking the start of “German Wine Week.”…
State Seeks to Evict Woman From Lava Tube
Hawaiian authorities have removed Karen Mayfield from the lava tube she has been living in for three years, and say they will put her on trial May 31 for littering, illegal camping, and “disturbing a geological feature,” all misdemeanors. She…
Abdul Accuser Would Cooperate With Government in “Idol” Probe, If Any
The attorney for Corey Clark, the former "American Idol" contestant who claims he had an affair with Paula Abdul, said Tuesday that his client had "explicit" and "incriminating" evidence that the affair really took place. He was responding to denials…