Serial Toilet Arsonist Continues to Terrorize San Francisco
The toilet death toll to date has exceeded one dozen.
Criminal
Robbers “Overly Prepared,” Says Guard Who Chased and Sat on Them
The off-duty guard who captured two teenage robbers in New Zealand last month said he noticed them before the robbery began because they were overdoing their preparations a bit. Herman Sakaria was driving home from work when he saw the…
Bail Granted On Condition Defendant Wear Underwear
Ben Hana, a homeless resident of Wellington, New Zealand, is known locally (although not very creatively) as "Blanket Man" because he goes around wrapped in a blanket. Hana was arrested on December 23 on allegations of cannabis possession and indecent…
Car-Wash Robber Has a Very Bad Day
Times are tough all over, tough enough that some have turned to crime who really have no aptitude for it. For example, the masked gentleman who tried to rob the Washman Autospa in Portland on December 30 Authorities said that…
Cardboard Criminals, or, Paper Perpetrators
On December 3, authorities in Reading, Pennsylvania, reported that a man disguised as a paper plate tried to rob a local gas station. According to a report in the Morning Call, "[t]he caper began near Reading when a man wearing…
O.J.’s Sentencing Speech Causes Spectators to Weep, Judge to Reverse Conviction
Wait, I'm reading this wrong — turns out he was the only one weeping, and the judge didn't buy his bullsh*t for a second. He got 15 years in prison. I stand corrected. O.J. Simpson did address the court this…
Note to Self: No Grocery-Store Carjackings This Holiday Season
The reason: grocery shoppers are likely to be toting heavy frozen turkeys, which could easily be used as weapons. This lesson comes to you from Raleigh, North Carolina, where "authorities say a shopper clubbed an alleged carjacker with a frozen turkey as…
Survivor of Attempted Vehicular Homicide Sued for Car Damage
A 17-year-old boy who was hit by a car and then abandoned by the driver has been sued for the damage his body negligently caused to the car. As we saw a while back (here and here) this shameful practice…
Good Reason to Kill #5: Insisted on Riding “Shotgun”
This doesn't beat #1 (Used the Last Roll of Toilet Paper) or #2 (Disputed Yahtzee Rules), and it was only an attempted killing, but it does deserve to be on the list. On September 16, police in Shreveport, Louisiana, said…
Request for Grey Poupon Has Unexpected Result
It appears that a driver’s request for a bit of Grey Poupon was rather rudely rejected on June 18, according to documents obtained by The Smoking Gun. Most likely, the request was made in fond remembrance of the famous commercials…