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Articles by Kevin
Assorted Stupidity #23
Doctrine of Proportionate Response: "Reed told police that he sat behind Willis and initially planned to attack him with a hammer, but fearing that would kill him, chose to light him on fire instead." Ladies and gentlemen, the complimentary peanuts…
Sheriff’s Department Doesn’t Think “Yakety Sax” Video of Escape Attempt Is Funny
That was its official position, anyway. In reality, the first 60 seconds or so is pretty good: An investigator looking into the incident apparently put the video together from surveillance-camera footage, sped it up and added the “Benny Hill”…
Illinois Forest Jugglers Rejoice
Good news for those who have been jonesing to juggle in the forest preserves of Cook County, Illinois — the Forest Preserve Commissioners voted last week to amend and/or repeal what they said were outdated rules governing "misconduct" within the…
Alcohol May Have Played a Role In Alligator Theft, Police Say
The Detroit Free Press reported on July 7 that “three intoxicated men stole a 14-foot flattened and preserved alligator, strapped it to a pickup truck and took it off-roading to a mud bogging party,” a sentence that raises the obvious question: why…
DOJ Says It Will Not Seek Extradition of Randy Quaid
According to the Santa Barbara DA's Office (via the ABA Journal), the Department of Justice has declined to pursue extradition proceedings against actor Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi. As you may recall, the Quaids fled to Canada last year…
Candidate: We Must Ban This Religion to Protect Freedom of Religion
I have no idea whether Herman Cain is an intelligent person or not. I assume he probably is, since he was the CEO of a company, and one that made pretty good pizza (not that it's too hard to make…
Court Rules Punch to the Groin Was No “Accident”
Q: An insurance policy covers bodily injury "caused by an occurrence," and defines "occurrence" as an "accident." Does the policy cover an injury caused by conduct that was deliberate but not intended to cause injury? A: No. Q: Does the…
New Documentary to Tell Story of Dog-Cloning Mormon-Raper
Or, "Mormon-raping dog-cloner"? I couldn't decide. I'm very glad to see that Errol Morris, who has made some great documentaries ("The Thin Blue Line," "The Fog of War"), has now taken on a story that was odd enough for me…
TSA Officer Learns How It Feels to Be Groped
Speaking of groping, as you know there have been any number of incidents in which travelers have been treated horrendously by TSA screeners, and only one (to my knowledge) in which the TSA has paid anybody. They have been given near-immunity for what would be sexual assault in any…