Criminal Mind, The


Slight Problems Found With “Nurse of the Year” Award

Here is a short list of the potential problems that authorities recently alleged in connection with Betty Lichtenstein's "Nurse of the Year" award, which she received in 2008: She isn't a nurse. Wait, I found a few more: She was…



Robber in Gorilla Suit Foiled by Worker With Meat Cleaver

Police in Conway, Florida, reported that a worker at Jimmy's Japanese Hibachi was taking out the trash last Monday night when a man in a gorilla suit appeared and punched him in the head.  The worker fled into the restaurant,…


Meat Thieves Captured

Police in Spokane, Washington, reported last week that they had arrested the ringleader of a meat-stealing operation that has plagued stores in the area for some time.  Christopher Webber was booked last Thursday on charges of "leading organized crime."  Specifically,…


When To Give Up Crime

When you are beaten and subdued by two 19-year-old Hooters girls.  This is a relatively clear sign that you are in the wrong line of work. Last month in Loganville, Georgia, a 40-year-old man saw two girls walk into a…



“We Will Get You,” Store Promises Vinegar Thief

The owner of the Newport Avenue Market in Bend, Oregon, is fed up with whoever has been stealing bottles of expensive balsamic vinegar from the market for over a year now.  This is why a sign now hangs in the relevant…



Man Has Cuffs Removed, Briefly, at Police Station

I guess the police station is the logical place to go if you are trying to get some handcuffs off, although now that I say that, I think I would try a locksmith first.  But, FYI, the police-station option is not a…