Motion to Go F*#& Yourselves
I don’t think the court has the power to grant this one, even if it wanted to.
2022
Russian Lawmaker Says He Wants Alaska Back
Given the trouble they’re having with Ukraine, I wouldn’t be too concerned about this.
THIS AGAIN (Hereinafter, “This”)
In which an opening paragraph is compared to a hagfish.
Bill Would Authorize Letter of Marque and Reprisal to Whoever Will Steal Putin’s Yacht
Strike your flag, Vladimir Vladimirovich, or we’ll give ye another broadside!
Jury to Decide Whether Officers Have Qualified Immunity for Tasing a Guy in the Crotch
Although there is video making it very likely the defendants will settle, if they have any sense.
Man Charged With Driving Into House Three Times Explains That His “Foot Slipped”
At least he didn’t claim the truck was defective.
Canadian Vaccine Protesters Are Confused About the Law, Too
Not “like other people, they are confused about the law,” but “this is one of many things they’re confused about.”
REMINDER: Choose an Alias That Doesn’t Already Appear on a Warrant
Either be more creative or run a background check on the person you’re going to pretend to be.
Court: “Kill Four People, That’s Grounds for Termination”
Killing even one customer is likely to get you fired. Kill four, no severance payment.
Assorted Stupidity #149
In this edition: robot lawyers, good drivers, crypto bros, giant-cockroach arguments, and more.