Council Takes “Wrath of God” Resolution Off the Agenda
“We adopt this Resolution before God that he pass us by in his Coming Wrath.”
Articles by Kevin
Goat-Slayer Running for Senate
Some say Augustus Sol Invictus sacrificed a goat to the pagan god of the wilderness and then drank goat blood. Actually, HE says that. But he has denied being a fascist who wants to start another Civil War, so let’s not jump to conclusions.
D.C. Prepares to Name an Official Amphipod
Other states may have their crustaceans, but only D.C. would have an amphipod. Which is also a crustacean, but still. And D.C. isn’t a state, but also, still.
Good News: Cops Now Slightly More Likely to Lube You First
The Ninth Circuit made it just a little less likely that officers will try to yank something out of your butt without a warrant.
Guy Steals Four Million Pounds of Oranges
Say—weren’t there six to eight million oranges here just a minute ago?
Have You Ever Paid Royalties for Singing “Happy Birthday”?
At least if you paid them to Warner/Chappell Music, Inc., good news: you might be getting that money back. Of course, this is probably much better news for your lawyers, but still.
Insane Clown Posse Wins Appeal
Sixth Circuit holds that ICP and affiliated Juggalo plaintiffs have standing to try to vacate the FBI’s classification of Juggalos as a “gang.” Whoop whoop!
Texas Police Won’t Charge Muslim Boy With Clock Possession
In which Texas police “err on the side of caution” by arresting a 14-year-old who had what sort of looked like a bomb they saw in a movie. Fact that he’s a Muslim? Totally irrelevant.
“God Would Not Go Around With Pants Down,” Says Councilman
What Would Jesus Wear?
BREAKING: O.J. Simpson Freed
Really?! Sort of.