Fine, Get in the Sea, Crooks
UPDATED: Now with even more sea and two additional crooks.
Criminal
Felon Who Died in Tragic Fall Found Alive in Closet
Well, allegedly dead.
Are We Still Doing Attempted Water Escapes?
Sure, why not?
“The Facts Are Unusual,” Says Judge About Acquittal in Mistaken-Home-Invasion-Broom-Sex-Fantasy Case
“Are you sure you’re not Kevin?” the man with the machete asked.
TIP: Choose an Alias That Doesn’t Already Appear on a Warrant
There are better alternatives in this situation, though.
Racist Pagan Goat-Murdering Lawyer Is in Trouble Again
But not for doing any of that stuff.
Employee Says She Robbed Store to Teach Other Employees a Lesson
They might have learned a lesson, but probably not the intended one.
Expert on Money Laundering Arrested for … Well, You Can Probably Guess
And you only get one guess.
Assorted Criminal Stupidity
Rudy Giuliani butt-dialed a reporter (twice), and that’s by no means the weirdest thing in this roundup.
Fourth-Level Subcontractor Ruins Murder Plot
If you want something done right … actually, don’t do this at all.