Top Posts of 2017

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So, let us do the obligatory top 10 (or 25) list and then be done with the utterly horrible year of 2017, how does that sound? Great, here we go. According to my web host’s stat reporting, with which I am not going to argue, these were the 25 most-read Lowering the Bar tales during 2017. These were not necessarily published during 2017 (though most were), just the most-read.

The top story of the year, which doesn’t surprise me too much given that the report I saw of this event caused me to launch myself across the room like a panther so I could get to a keyboard more quickly, was “Lawyer’s Pants on Fire During Closing Argument” (Mar. 9). Because that happened. A lawyer in Florida had just begun his closing argument to a jury when his pants literally burst into flame. He was about to argue that his client was not guilty of arson because the evidence showed the fire had started through spontaneous combustion, and then tried to convince the judge that the fire in his pants was also an accident. Around here, my friends, it does not get much better than that. I put that one on my “Best Of” list almost immediately, a decision your many clicks have obviously vindicated.

Due to laziness and a desire to put 2017 in the rear-view mirror as fast as possible, I will let the rest of them speak for themselves. And then on to what will almost certainly be an even more ridiculous and stupid year.

1. Lawyer’s Pants on Fire During Closing Argument
2. Guy Who Got a C on Constitutional-Amendment Paper GETS CONSTITUTION AMENDED
3. The Octopus: Honorary Vertebrate?
4. Judge Rejects Man’s Claim to Be “Some Sort of Agricultural Product” 
5. Two-Undecillion-Dollar Demand Spells Trouble for Au Bon Pain
6. Court: Smashing Cameras Doesn’t Give You a “Reasonable Expectation of Privacy”
7. Ninth Circuit Breaks New Ground in Sexy-Cop Jurisprudence
8. Here’s to You, Future Plaintiff in Lawsuit Against Axe-Throwing Business
9. Has Your Boss Ever Pooped In Your Lunchbox?
10. Official State Crap: Florida
11. It Is Not Illegal to Drive With an Axe Embedded in the Roof of Your Car
12. “You Can’t Sue People for Being Mean to You, Bob”
13. Woman Gets a Ticket for Parking Two Seconds Early
14. A Few Signs That Martin Shkreli Might Be In Some Trouble
15. Court: Lawyer Who Gave Himself Award Can’t Sue People Who Reported He Did That
16. I’ll Show You a Run-On Sentence
17. Judge Rules Burrito Is Not Sandwich
18. Luxuriate in the Octopoid Embrace of These Legal Postulations
19. About Those Folders
20. Of Course There Was a Comma in “I Want a Lawyer Dog”
21. Bar Beats 500-Meter-Distance Rule With 500-Meter Maze
22. “Oh, Come On,” Says Chief Justice
23. Court to Police: Nope, Sometimes “Fleeing” Is Just Jogging
24. Sovereign Citizen Convinces Jury He Is Innocent of No Charges
25. Utah Supreme Court Affirms a Woman’s Right to Sue Herself