Suspect’s Toilet Strike Ends After 47 Days—Successfully
That is not a typo. Forty-seven days.
Crime and Punishment
Court Orders Martin Shkreli to Forfeit Smirk
The ruling presumably leaves him with no facial expression at all.
New Assault Charges for Rogue Canadian Golfer Who Tried to Escape on Ice Floe
He managed to get out of this water hazard, but it didn’t do him much good.
Yep, That’s My Ferrari
It wasn’t.
A Few Signs That Martin Shkreli Might Be In Some Trouble
Although his smirk has not yet wavered.
Escape Charge Dismissed Because State Didn’t Prove Prison’s Location
Prosecutors forgot to call any witnesses who knew which county it’s in.
Man Upset With $190 Ticket for Having His Snake Off Leash
You can’t set your snake free in a public park. At least not in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
“Downton Abbey” Congressman’s Indictment Is a Hoot
At least he didn’t delete any emails. (He actually said that.)
Criminal’s Modus Operandi Probably Just Means He Can’t Spell “Modus Operandi”
Among other things.
Justice Done in Canada With Convictions in Maple-Syrup Heist
To any who would threaten the precious Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve: let this be a lesson to you.