Assorted Stupidity #116
In this edition: witness misplaced, grandma tased, chest-bumps delivered, all drug-test boxes checked, and incomprehensible pleadings raged at.
2018
Good Reason to Kill #71: Argued About Who’d Play Aretha Franklin in the Aretha Franklin Movie
The answer is Jennifer Hudson, but if the guy with a gun says it’s Halle Berry, just agree with him.
Canadian Rectal Smuggler Catches a Break on Appeal
Things came out slightly better than expected.
“Dumbest Insider Trading Crime I’ve Ever Seen” Was Pretty Dumb
As such crimes go, anyway.
Bison-Taunter Arrested
Please do not taunt the bison.
Speedboat Escape Is Exception That Proves the Rule
Tjuvarna kan ha lämnat Strängnäs Domkyrka på vattenskoter. But I wouldn’t try it if I were you.
New Jersey May Declare an Official State Microbe
It would be the second state in the Union to have its very own.
Defendants File Non-Opposition to Plaintiff’s Motion for Leave to File Surreply to Motion for Leave to File Surreply
If reading that hurt your head, imagine how the judge felt.
Virginians! You Now Have an Extra 22 Hours to Kill Raccoons on Sunday
You don’t need to call it off at 2 a.m. anymore.
Woman Accidentally Steals Car She Thought Was Her Rental
Drove it around for two weeks with nary a clue.