Suspect Located
“Hey bro,” the suspect reportedly said upon being discovered.
Criminal Mind, The
Attempt to Flee Australia on a Jet Ski Fails (90 Miles Later)
Impressive, but still unsuccessful.
Stolen Swedish Crown Jewels Turn Up During Suspect’s Trial
Not what you normally expect to find when dumpster diving (I’m told).
Sadly, I Must Report That There Was in Fact No “Canoe Chase”
Probably not even much of a negotiation to speak of.
Beware: Botox Bandits Burgle Beautiful Brows
I would like to apologize for the headline, which I seemed to be powerless to prevent.
Thief Dangles From Fence
Here’s the kind of post you get when I’m late for a connecting flight. Good image, though.
“Inchworm Bandits” Are Either Idiots or Comedy Geniuses
It’s a fine line sometimes. Rarely, but sometimes.
“Worst Robbers in Belgium” Agree to Come Back at Closing Time
More to steal that way, you see.
Another Attempted Water Escape Fails
The article calls this a “watery elude,” which it wasn’t.
Guy With Axe Embedded in Roof of Car Gets Probation
The thing with the axe isn’t illegal, and the other stuff deserves more than probation.