Police: Burglars Not Hard to Track in Snow
Or smart enough to wait for spring.
Criminal
“Spelling Bee Bandit” Arrested for String of Roberies
I hope you realize that’s how HE spelled it.
“Downton Abbey” Congressman’s Indictment Is a Hoot
At least he didn’t delete any emails. (He actually said that.)
Doody Convicts Rectal Smuggler
It took a while for the truth to come out.
Criminal’s Modus Operandi Probably Just Means He Can’t Spell “Modus Operandi”
Among other things.
Justice Done in Canada With Convictions in Maple-Syrup Heist
To any who would threaten the precious Global Strategic Maple Syrup Reserve: let this be a lesson to you.
Tree Arrested
Police initially let Tree off with a warning, but the misbehavior continued.
Rectal Smuggler Won’t Know Doody’s Position Until November
I’m a grown man, but I’m also on vacation.
Defendant Votes on His Own Indictment
Grand jury proceedings are secret, so I guess we’ll never know which way he voted.
Defendant Says His Lawyer Lied; Asks Him for Help Remembering What the Lies Were
Oddly, the lawyer failed to identify any of the alleged misrepresentations.